Forgiving & Unforgiving

Today my thoughts are on the dichotomous nature of a toddler's nature. In this case, my almost 16-month old, Cati. On the one hand, she can be the most forgiving person. She will forgive me as I try to figure out this whole parenting thing. She forgives my mistakes, lapses in judgment, and my mommy guilt. Oh how I have lost hours to feeling guilty about pumping, about feeding, about getting frustrated with her. None of the things I stress out about now are things that will cause her to never speak to me again. The things that bother me don't register with her. As long as her needs are met and she is showered with love, she will forgive my mistakes and faults, which she didn't even know are mistakes and faults, and will still love me.

On the other hand, she can be very unforgiving. Her needs MUST be met and she doesn't care to hear my excuse. It doesn't matter if I am stuck in traffic and would stop shaving for a year if it meant getting home sooner, she doesn't understand that it is beyond my control and won't stop crying bloody murder. She doesn't care if I am exhausted from life or if I'd like to not share my food with her, she is a walking id and wants what she wants when she wants it. Which, let's keep in mind that there is no distinction between want and need because there is very little rationalizing going on. So the options are (1) try to rationalize with her, (2) all out tantrum until I give in, or (3) a perfectly timed distraction maneuver. It's only when option (3) works that she her seesaw goes back up to the forgiving side.

I love this age and stage. Cati is so much fun but I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited for her getting older so that she could communicate and understand better.

One a side note, this post is brought to you by a wonderful evening full of pissers and poopers. I had an interview to do earlier and when I got home, Perla peed right next to Cati. Then, right before going in the bath and right after having her diaper removed, Cati pooped and peed on the floor. Then, after the bath and before I got to put on a diaper, Cati peed on the floor again. THEN, as we were about to go into Cati's room for bedtime she handed me what she was chewing on: poop. I guess I missed a pooplette and Cati found it and stuck it in her mouth but seeing as how it is disgusting, she handed it to me to dispose of. These, right here, are the moments motherhood is made out of.