First Day of School

My lovelies are in school! I can't believe I have two kids in school now. It's been quite an adjustment for everyone, especially Elina, but things have been getting better and better each day. I didn't realize how attached Elina was to Cati until school started so we've used that attachment to help Elina transition better to being in school. This involves waking up extra early to get the girls to school when the toddlers and preschoolers are in the same room, but the earlier wake up has been worth it because it means less tears for Elina. I'm already looking forward to the end of the school year just so I can go back and compare how much my girls have grown in nine months.

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Fun & Fit: February

February was a great month for fitness events. I started the month with 5K Foam Fest, which was an obstacle run but with lots and lots of foam. After doing Superhero Scramble in January alone and meeting people along the course, I wasn't nervous about doing this run on my own. Foam Fest was the almost the opposite of Superhero Scramble because it was so much more laid back, all the obstacles were manageable, and there were no consequences for not completing an obstacle. And the foam. There was so much of it. My only complaint is that I wanted more obstacles!

The day after Foam Fest I did a 5K, 5K for the Kids. The best part about this run was going with Cati. She is always asking when the next race is and gets pretty upset when I go for runs without her, so I knew that I was overdue for taking her to a run with me. This was probably the best run to do with her too because there was music, a bounce house, free face painting, and toddler attention-grabbing snacks. It's been exactly a month since that run and she still asks me if I remember the race with the face painting. Doing 3:1 intervals while pushing Cati in the stroller, my time was 32:38.

The last run of the month was, by far, the best: Disney's Princess Half Marathon. We drove up to Orlando the Friday before the run, went to expo on that Saturday, and then I ran my heart out Sunday morning. Some people had complained about the expo being really packed on Friday so I am happy we went on Saturday because it was less crowded and overwhelming.  Prior to the race I had read of the importance of corral placement in these runs because most of the people in the first few corrals are running for time and, therefore, won't stop for pictures. Whereas people in the later corrals do stop for pictures, creating longer lines. My goal for expo was to get my corral changed from G (corrals went up to H) to anything better than G. I was so happy that my ING half marathon time of 2:30 was enough to get me bumped up to corral B.

I'm a princess!

Meeting Jeff Galloway

The day of the run was really exciting. Disney goes out of their way to create a truly unique and enjoyable event. The course was great; running through the parks and Cinderella's castle will forever be a favorite memory of mine. Entertainment on the course was fantastic with all the characters and music. Those 13.1 miles didn't feel like 13.1 miles when all was said and done. I had told myself that I would stop for pictures with Belle, Jasmine, Ariel, and Aurora/Sleeping Beauty but I only made one stop because I didn't see any of the other princesses on the course. Even with a five-minute stop for a picture with Belle and two bathroom breaks I managed to beat my ING time and finished this half marathon in 2:25.

The funny story with my time is that Alex was tracking me and Disney estimated me finishing at a certain time, but I finished sooner than expected. By the time Alex, the girls, and my aunt were settled in in the cheering stands, ready to cheer for me based on the estimated time, he got a text  message saying that I had already finished. So they may or may not have seen me actually cross the finish line.

The one thing I kept saying after the run was that a Disney run is the way to go, in terms of overall experience, for a first half marathon. The runs are pricey but the experience is great and the energy pumps you up for a great run.

This month I have a 5K and another half marathon lined up. Have I told you how much I love running?

Three.

It's an hour past Cati's birthday, February 14. My oldest "baby" has turned three and I find myself struggling with time. I want it to freeze, speed up, jump forward, jump backward. More than anything, I just want to feel like it's not slipping past me. I can still remember the day of Cati's birth and can still feel the raw pain of those first few months with her. I remember the joy I felt when she rolled for the first time, spoke for the first time, walked for the first time. I have all these fragments, these memories, that I can vividly recall and yet years have passed by and I am still left numb with the sensation that I missed something. Or worse, I did not enjoy something enough. The older my children get, the more bittersweet the milestone will be. Birthdays are those twilight days where one foot is stuck in the past and the other foot is ready to approach the future. On Cati's third birthday I looked at pictures from the past year. My, how she's changed and grown! I also, however, began to wonder about the future; what changes await us? How much will she change in the year to come? And again, time, you tricky thing. You've created a day where I struggle with staying present, with simply enjoying and celebrating not just a birthday but a birthgiving day.

Happy third birthday sweet Catarina. The past three years with you have been a beautiful journey, from newbornness to unprompted I love yous. Please forgive your mom for making a wonderful thing like your birthday this profound, philosophical event. Here's to continuing this journey together and to lots of cake along the way.

Austin Trip

We flew out to Austin December 6th. Following a stressful week at school, I was so excited about being able to take a break and visit some place new. It was just the girls and me on this trip and, if I knew then what I know now, I don't think I would have gone through with the trip.

The plan was to visit Austin in October with Alex but things got complicated and I was afraid I would be even more stressed out going on a trip like this in the middle of the semester so the trip was postponed to December. I don't know what I was thinking when I booked the trip, but the reality of having to entertain two mobile and short attention spanned children on a plane and be the only adult they feel comfortable with for close to a week, did not sink in. The weekend before the trip was when I became nervous. The morning of the trip I was an anxious mess. Timing was bad and there was no one available to take us to the airport. With the help of so many kind strangers, I managed to get two kids, a stroller, a big piece of luggage, a duffle bag, and four small bags checked in and on the flight to Austin.

When we got to the terminal I went into one of the stores with the girls and let Cati pick out something for Elina and herself. Elina got a blue stuffed teddy bear and Cati picked out a Crayola backpack full of crayons, markers, chalk, and paper. I will forever be thanking Cati for this choice because that backpack was all we needed on the flight to Austin. Well, that and lots of snacks. We had a row to ourselves (no one wanted to sit next to us!) so once the seatbelt sign went off, girls were free to crawl and walk around out little row. I tried to treat the three-hour flight like we were playing at home, just in a much more confined space.

My dad surprised us at the Austin airport and my sister drove us home. For six days, my sister had three car seats in the back of her car. We did as much as we could sanely do and my girls took turns being cranky whenever there was a car ride. We spent the last two days there just hanging out at the house because I could not bring myself to another car ride.

While there, we visited The Capital and walked around the downtown area. We visited Pioneer Farms and ate at The Salt Lick (delicious!!!). We ran Color Me Rad and had a girls night out. I got to cuddle with my niece and see how my girls interacted with their cousin.

It was so much fun but so exhausting. Getting the girls to sleep in a new environment is always fun and for the three of the nights I slept with Cati and the other three nights I slept in an inflatable bed in the girls' room. Elina woke up each morning crying like a banshee (she was the house's alarm clock). The girls wanted to be with no one other than me and my dad would joke around and call them my shadow. The last two days were particularly rough because that's when Elina started teething so she was even  clingier and, in general, my patience as the parent doing everything was running dangerously low.

I was nervous again the day of the flight back. Luckily, the flight back had more kids so I didn't feel as bad if my girls acted up. I had more help from strangers and was soon on my way home. When I spoke to Alex that day he asked if I missed him or if I just missed the help. The truth was, I missed both and I missed that feeling of being able to walk away knowing my daughters wouldn't cry out for me and that feeling of having someone else feel the responsibility of parenting this children as much as I do. I missed him having my back and I felt so lucky I got to come home to this amazing man my daughters felt so comfortable around.

The flight back was just as smooth as the flight to Austin. We didn't even need the Crayola backpack on the flight back because the girls were more entertained with playing with each other and eating snacks. The girls did, however, pass out as soon as we were in the car driving home.

What's funny or sad or ironic to me is how quickly we can step back into the old roles and routines of everyday life. I was happy to be home but within hours of being home I was already stepping back into the frazzled-ness that I feel characterizes me at the moment. Again, the trip was great and I am so happy we survived, but I think I will be waiting a long, long, long time before I travel by myself with the girls again.

And after all that has been said, here are pictures from our memorable trip to Austin, Texas:

Flying to Austin

At Home & Out and About

The Capital

Pioneer Farms

The Salt Lick

Flying Home

Again, it's feels so good to be home. I love my family and am so thankful for all the time I got to spend with them, but there's no place like home. I think even the girls were starting to miss home. I was afraid they would be thrown off, but even they have gone back to their roles and I can happily report that there has been no banshee crying here. 

Life Lately

Trying to "have it all" is easier said than done. Trying to do it all is even harder. I'm four weeks away from being done with school and it's taking all the energy I have to sprint to the finish line. I'm still waiting for things to get "easier" with the girls  and although some things have gotten easier, things have gotten so much harder. Both my girls are mobile and, while they're demands may be different, they still demand a present and participating mama. My lap and arms are prime real estate around here and as soon as one child vacates the space, the other jumps in to fill the void. Dr. Seuss said it the best when he said, "Life's a great balancing act."

Whenever people ask me how I'm doing I always say I'm surviving. Each day is a triumph. There are moments of frustration, meltdowns, tears, and big emotions. But, there are also moments of spontaneous kisses and "I love you very much." There are sweet sisterly exchanges that capture my heart and tender hugs that remind me why I choose Alex to live this crazy life with. Everyday is about surviving, but it's also about enjoying those moments that make you smile at the beauty that is a life well lived.

The updates on life have been sparse around here. The one thing that always gets neglected when things get busy is the blog. I have so much to say but when it comes time to put those words down, there's always something else that needs to be done first. Today though, there will be an update. In the past two months:

• I have become an aunt. Carolina Michelle was born on September 29, 2012 and was 8.5 lbs of baby love. 
• I have said good-bye to my sister as she left Miami to live in Austin, Texas. I miss her so much and not having her here makes Miami feel so empty. 
• We went on our first family vacation. The last time we went to Disney we had just started dating. To go back now, with two kids, was such a surreal moment. 
• I spent a whole weekend alone and it felt sooo good. Alex was away for work and the girls stayed with the grandparents. I ran with the wind, ate without sharing, slept without interruption, and missed the girls incredibly. The breaks was long overdue and I felt so refreshed and ready to take on another day. 
• I spoke to my mom after more than two and half years of not talking. It was shocking and different and, as with everything, it's all a process. 
• I booked a flight to Austin, Texas to visit the family over there. I can't wait to see my sweet niece again and I am just a tiny bit terrified of traveling with two children by myself. 
• Elina has started to take assisted steps, somehow has a mouth full of five teeth, and has started to drink formula (more on that later). 
• Cati has started yoga and loves to test boundaries, particularly with Alex. She is in the categorizing stage of development and has begun to pay attention to labels and groupings. While I know this is normal, it saddens me that I won't be able to control the way she sees the world anymore because she is paying attention to the labels and groupings other people used. For example, it broke my heart to hear her call herself "shy" because someone at school called her that and it bothered me to hear her say she liked a toy because it was a "girl" toy. I don't want her labeling herself when (a) she doesn't know what the word means and (b) what if she sees herself differently? I also don't want her seeing things as only for boys or only for girls because then she is going to start limiting or censoring herself. 
• I have had to learn and learn and learn again that parenting is hard and it isn't always what you think or want it to be (see above). There is so much we don't have control over as parents. I just hope I am doing a good enough job that allows the girls to accept themselves wholly and approach the world without restraint. 

And that is life lately. It feels like a lot has happened in the last two months and, at the same time, it feels like barely anything has happened. Either way, time keeps on ticking and soon tomorrow will be here.

By the way, any tips on traveling with kids? How about things to do in Austin?