This Week in Mommyhood

What a week it has been in mommyhood! So much has happened over the last week that I can barely wrap my head around it. Cati started school last week and has been doing wonderfully. The first couple of days were tough and she cried on and off while she was there but her crying stopped as soon as they did an activity. I cried the first day (Tuesday) because it was hard leaving her and I spent the entire morning looking at the clock wishing it to fast-forward so I could go pick her up. The following day (Wednesday) Cati kept asking for her "wau wau" (lovey bunny) so I made sure to take her bunny to pick her up every day after that. That day when we got home and I gave her the bunny she showered it with kisses. She was that happy to see it!

My favorite part of the school Cati's in is the fact that the kids are always immediately consoled. As soon as they start crying there is someone on hand to pick them up and this is a huge relief considering my biggest concern was Cati getting the level of attention she is used to with me. She goes Monday-Friday for three hours in the morning and that's enough for me to miss her like crazy. Even though I do get a lot done in those three hours, it's still weird to have time that's wholly to myself. The benefit is that when I am with her after that I am so patient. I delay naps and bedtime because I want to play with her more. She's even more affectionate with me, which I absolutely love. It's definitely a win-win for us both.

 

I was afraid the weekend would be a setback but we had such a busy weekend that I think neither of us really felt like the weekend was a break. Yesterday morning it was a little harder leaving the house, but the minute I said we were going to see "nenes" Cati perked right away and headed for the door. 

Today was the first day that I dropped her off and she didn't cry. Part of my heart broke to not hear her cry out for me and the other part of my heart overflowed with joy because I made the right choice. At this moment, she is in the right place, she is being nurtured (and she's nurturing others by handing out hugs!), and her innate need to socialize is being nourished. I see now that waiting to put her in school was selfish of me: I can provide for her, I just can't provide everything for her. I thought that she would be too much of a baby for school and that she wouldn't be ready, but the reality is that I wasn't ready to let go. I wanted to hold on to my baby when the reality is that she isn't a baby anymore. More than anything, school has been a blessing because it's given me the opportunity to recharge my mothering batteries. I understood that I needed time for myself but I didn't realize the full extent of how much it would benefit my relationship with Cati and for that one reason I am so happy we bit the bullet and put her in school now. I am in more love and awe of my daughter than ever before. (Note: please don't think I think all kids should be in school. I think every family should do what's best for their family system).

Here are the other fun developments this week:


Funniest Moment. Cati took a nap in the car and was still asleep by the time we got to our friend's house. We stayed in the car while she slept. I was reading a magazine and Alex was reading work stuff on his phone so neither of us noticed when Cati woke up. She let us know she was awake by saying "uh oh." We both giggle every time we think of this.


Babysitter Improvement. Cati likes her babysitter! Woo hoo! She barely cries now when I leave her. It makes going off to school so much easier. Her babysitter is pretty smitten with her too so happiness all around.


You Sit Here. Cati has been very expressive with what she wants me to do. My new favorite thing is when she taps on the floor so that I can sit next to her.

No! Oh dear, baby girl has learned how to say no and she is not afraid of using it. This is yet another instance of trouble with discipline because she sounds so cute saying no that I have trouble trying to get her to not say no.

Good Night and Bye Bye. Going to school and spending two nights away from Cati has really helped me to appreciate bedtime routine. I love those quiet moments together, even though they really aren't quiet because she is a gibbering, singing machine. My heart particularly melted one night when she waved and said bye bye to me after I put her in her crib.

Little Singer. Like I said, Cati is a singing machine. I can't get over how much she loves music. I made up an "aye nene" song and she is constantly singing it. She sometimes even sings it to herself before going to sleep. She knows Old MacDonald and will say "i-e-i-e" whenever she wants me to sing it. However, my ultimate favorite is her singing Human League's "Don't You Want Me." I will sing the "don't you want me baby?" part and she will say the "ohh" part and will even throw in a "baby" every now and then. Cati was not in a particularly singing mood as soon as I took out my phone, but she did sing a little:

Changing Sounds. In general, Cati is more tuned into sounds and words. She is especially quick to pick up on expressive words, or words that are said with a lot of emotion and fun intonations. What I find funny is that she has changed how she says "mama." Before the emphasis was equal for each "ma" but now she says it "ma-MA" so she sounds like a fancy little baby.