Dear Elina,
Happy ten months sweet girl. I think I am finally over the
shock of how old you are becoming. All the other months have felt so
bittersweet to me as I’ve seen my baby grow and grow with no regard to how
small I want her to stay. Maybe I have just accepted that you will keep on
growing and that the only way to stop time or go back in time is through the
memories that have been planted in my heart. Or maybe it’s just that I am
starting to get excited about the milestone that will be your first birthday.
Perhaps it’s the excitement of planning a party to celebrate the beauty that is
you and your first year of life, which has me looking forward instead of
backward. Either way, today I am living in the moment of today, with one foot
ready to step off the past, the other foot ready to step in the future, and my
heart firmly in the present.
This past month has been the month of movement. There have
been so many falls and bumps and, again, I am amazed at the fearlessness and
perseverance of a child learning how to stand and walk. You are one fast
crawler and are becoming a fast climber. You hate being restrained in any way
(car rides have become so much fun!) and you love trying to climb up the many
stairs in our house. Being mobile means you have learned new ways to get
attention and I will admit that I love when you crawl over to me, pull yourself
up using my jeans, and make your dinosaur noises so that I will look at you and
pick you up.
This has been the month where we are really starting to see
the relationship deepen between you and your sister. Cati makes you laugh like
no one else. Her concern for you is so touching and the way you follow her
around is so sweet. Sharing is an issue, but this is just another thing you two
will have to learn how to manage. I just hope that you always love each other
and enjoy one another’s company as you do now.
I call you Elina-bug, but the more appropriate name is
Elina-saurus because you sound like a dinosaur with all your hissing and
gurgling noises. One day Cati even said you sounded like you swallowed a
crocodile. You do, however, have more sounds in your language and this month is
when you started making the dada and mama sounds. You haven’t said your first
word yet, but with all the movements you are making you are more focused on
learning how to walk rather than learning how to talk. I’m almost expecting
your first word to be something like “yogurt” because of all the yogurt you
eat! As for eating, you are still a great eater. You drink four-5oz bottles a day
and you will eat almost anything I put in front of you. The only thing you
don’t seem to be too crazy about are fruits; it’s as if every fruit is too
bitter or sour for you with the faces you make and how quickly you spit them
out.
This month you got two new teeth and, at ten months old, you
have seven teeth. Teething is the only time you are ever a “cranky” baby and,
luckily for you, you don’t teeth for two long.
You flew on an airplane for the first time this past month
and you were such a trooper. We spent six days away from home and, aside from
hating the car seat, you went with all the changes. A trip away from home,
whether it is to Texas or the grandparents’ house, is something that always
makes me a little sad because you are doing certain things so much younger than
I would have thought I would feel comfortable with because you have an older
sister. I feel as if I am letting go a little faster with you.
Ten months have gone by my little one. Lots of letting go and
seeing you grow and wanting the world to stop just so I can hold you just a
little bit longer. While I curse Time at times, I also thank Time for not stop
and propelling me forward. I know each future moment with you will be better
than the moment now, but it’s hard to say goodbye to what was. It’s so easy to
stay stuck in the what-was and what-is, but because of your sister I know that
the what-will-be is worth this unstoppable movement forward.
I love you always and thank you for giving me these ten
months with you. Being a mother has never felt so rewarding.
Love always,
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