Friday, June 24, 2011

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Love Letter to My Husband

Dear Alex,

Today is June 24th, 2011. Four years ago today, before our family and friends, we promised to love each other for as long as we live. The past four years have been the most wonderful, hectic, and amazing years of my life.

On June 23, 2003 you asked me to be your girlfriend. Who would have known that simple little question would lead to us building an entire life together? Back then we had dreams. You were pre-med and wanted to be a doctor. I was a psych major with dreams of going to law school. Now you are a doctor. I went to law school and it didn't work out, but hey! our dreams came true. Neither of us saw our lives the way they are today. Both of us thought we would be professionals before getting married and having kids. We imagined kids coming into the picture when we were both established in our careers with a nice little golden parachute in the bank. But that didn't happen because we met each other early on in the "plans" and our love for one another begged us to move our relationship forward.
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On May 19, 2006 you asked me to marry you. It was the last day of your first year of medical school. We had been in Boston since the previous fall. Before we moved to Boston I asked you if you planned on marrying me. I wasn't ready nor was I strong enough to take a big step like moving away and in with you without some kind of reassurance you wanted to be with me for the long run. You assured me you planned on marrying me and, at times, I am amazed you proposed when you did. I lived with myself during that first year in Boston and I was annoying. I would send you pictures of rings I liked and I would pout whenever I found out someone we knew was getting married. You didn't let me down though. We went to Top of the Hub and had a wonderful dinner overlooking the city. After, we walked to the Public Garden and slow danced to John Legend's "Live It Up." You asked me to marry you with a ring you designed yourself and I said yes like the world would end if I didn't. Of course, the world would have ended because you are my world.
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June 24, 2007 you said "I do." That was one of the happiest days of my life. I remember feeling so calm that day. Thinking about that walk down the aisle toward you makes me feel giddy with excitement. I would gladly and easily give up the rest of the day for that one moment. I'll never forget our surprise when the reverend read aloud what we wrote about one another. We thought that was just something the reverend would use to get to know us so we were really goofy when we wrote it. You wrote how you lucked out because not only where you getting a great girl but also a cute dog. I wrote about how hot I thought you were. Our first dance was to John Legend's "Stay With You" and to this day that is the song I have for you when you call. Even Cati says "dada" when she hears the song. After the wedding we went to Jamaica for our honeymoon and we spent our days there amazed at the fact that we were now a married couple.
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On June 8, 2009 you signed your financial life away and bought us our first home. The home was and is perfect for us and beyond anything we could have dreamed for.
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On June 11, 2009 you found out we were having a baby. It was a surprise and a year ahead of when planned, but we already learned that plans are the silly things you do when life is happening. The night I told you, you said "aye babe," hugged me, and went back to sleep. The next day you looked up how much it would cost to have a baby. You were worried and understandably so. We had just closed on our first home and we had so many bills to look forward to. I think you were worried every day of the pregnancy up until you could feel our sweet daughter kicking you. It's as if she was telling you "Dada it's going to be ok. As long as you love me we will make it."
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On February 14, 2010 you became a father. The birth of our daughter was quite a tale. I was admitted to the hospital the night you were on call and every time you got paged while I labored my heart sank. But you made it and you spoke to me as our daughter was born. I don't remember what you said to me because I was in such a daze but I will never forget feeling overwhelmed with love and the reality that our love for one another created such a beautiful child. You slept in my room every night I was at the hospital. You were as perfect as you could be and I thanked God a million times for allowing our paths to cross. Throughout Cati's life and especially her first few months you were supportive. I wish I could forget those moments when I was connected to the pump and you would tell me I was the most beautiful person in the world. I love and will always love when you compliment me, but I hate thinking about how I felt as a mother during that time.
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Life has taken us on some ride. In our four years of marriage we have lived in Boston, moved to Miami, bought a house, and a had a baby. If I had to summarize every year of our marriage I could:
  • Year One: Easy peasy! We used to wonder why people said the first year of marriage was hard. Looking back I can see why it was easy: we didn't have adult lives! While I worked, we were both very much students. We lived in a studio apartment, ate out often, and spent money because we had money to spend. 
  • Year Two: A shift. Match day rolls around and we are moving back to Miami! We both wanted this and are very happy. We start house hunting and spend the last week of our lives in Boston traveling to Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard. We drive down to Miami and make pit stops in DC and Savannah. Our last stop is your parent's house and we stay there until all the work is done on our house. Two days after we close we find out we are having a baby!
  • Year Three: You are a first year resident and my body is expanding to accommodate baby girl. First year of residency isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I hate the call but at least you are around. Cati is born and our lives forever change. What was once a smooth and almost frictionless relationship turns into one that really requires work and patience. Lots and lots of patience. 
  • Year Four: Turns out I hate your job! Go figure! Year two of residency in your program is the bad year; the year where you miss out on an entire two months of your daughter's life. Cati grows and we both become more comfortable as parents. Our biggest struggle this year? Tiredness and making time for one another. 
So that's four years in a nutshell. We have grown and changed so much in our eight years together, but it's really the past four years that have set our lives ablaze. We have so much to live for now and so much to be happy about. I don't say it often enough but I am thankful for you. I am thankful you are my husband, that you love me, that you have given me the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mother, and that you are always pushing me to chase after my dreams, regardless of whether they are to write more or go back to school.

You inspire me every day and I can only hope that I inspire you as much.

Always yours,
Steph

4 comments:

Christina said...

Beautiful letter, I read every word. I didn't know your husband was a doctor- what is he specializing in? My husband is in his third year of medical school going through rotations.

I like how you explained every year of your marriage, the first was our easiest too! Our second we moved to Michigan and I'd say that was our hardest so far. We just celebrated our third year and it was sweet, the two of us making time for each other and appreciating any and all time we have with each other.

Ashley said...

This is beautiful!! My husband and I haven't even been married a year (it will be one year Oct. 16), but we have done A LOT in the past 6 years we have been together. I think you just inspired me to write him a little love letter outlining out relationship for our anniversary (which is suppose to be paper right!?).

Congrats on 8 beautiful years and 4 years marriage!!! I hope our marriage is as happy as yours has been :) (So far so good!!!)

I Sing In The Kitchen said...

Aw, Stephanie. That is the most beautiful post. Truly wonderful to read. (I feel like a voyeur!!)

Congrats! Happy Anniversary to a beautiful couple and many smiles sent your way to your lovely family.

Melanna said...

Stephanie, I have always loved how honest you are when you write. This was beautiful! And I totally had the same feelings about my first year of marriage. I like how you summed it up. Because now that I'm a mom, own a home and have so many more "adult" responsibilities, marriage is so much harder.

Always enjoy your blog!