Saturday, November 10, 2012

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Life Lately

Trying to "have it all" is easier said than done. Trying to do it all is even harder. I'm four weeks away from being done with school and it's taking all the energy I have to sprint to the finish line. I'm still waiting for things to get "easier" with the girls  and although some things have gotten easier, things have gotten so much harder. Both my girls are mobile and, while they're demands may be different, they still demand a present and participating mama. My lap and arms are prime real estate around here and as soon as one child vacates the space, the other jumps in to fill the void. Dr. Seuss said it the best when he said, "Life's a great balancing act."

Whenever people ask me how I'm doing I always say I'm surviving. Each day is a triumph. There are moments of frustration, meltdowns, tears, and big emotions. But, there are also moments of spontaneous kisses and "I love you very much." There are sweet sisterly exchanges that capture my heart and tender hugs that remind me why I choose Alex to live this crazy life with. Everyday is about surviving, but it's also about enjoying those moments that make you smile at the beauty that is a life well lived.

The updates on life have been sparse around here. The one thing that always gets neglected when things get busy is the blog. I have so much to say but when it comes time to put those words down, there's always something else that needs to be done first. Today though, there will be an update. In the past two months:
  • I have become an aunt. Carolina Michelle was born on September 29, 2012 and was 8.5 lbs of baby love. 
  • I have said good-bye to my sister as she left Miami to live in Austin, Texas. I miss her so much and not having her here makes Miami feel so empty. 
  • We went on our first family vacation. The last time we went to Disney we had just started dating. To go back now, with two kids, was such a surreal moment. 
  • I spent a whole weekend alone and it felt sooo good. Alex was away for work and the girls stayed with the grandparents. I ran with the wind, ate without sharing, slept without interruption, and missed the girls incredibly. The breaks was long overdue and I felt so refreshed and ready to take on another day. 
  • I spoke to my mom after more than two and half years of not talking. It was shocking and different and, as with everything, it's all a process. 
  • I booked a flight to Austin, Texas to visit the family over there. I can't wait to see my sweet niece again and I am just a tiny bit terrified of traveling with two children by myself. 
  • Elina has started to take assisted steps, somehow has a mouth full of five teeth, and has started to drink formula (more on that later). 
  • Cati has started yoga and loves to test boundaries, particularly with Alex. She is in the categorizing stage of development and has begun to pay attention to labels and groupings. While I know this is normal, it saddens me that I won't be able to control the way she sees the world anymore because she is paying attention to the labels and groupings other people used. For example, it broke my heart to hear her call herself "shy" because someone at school called her that and it bothered me to hear her say she liked a toy because it was a "girl" toy. I don't want her labeling herself when (a) she doesn't know what the word means and (b) what if she sees herself differently? I also don't want her seeing things as only for boys or only for girls because then she is going to start limiting or censoring herself. 
  • I have had to learn and learn and learn again that parenting is hard and it isn't always what you think or want it to be (see above). There is so much we don't have control over as parents. I just hope I am doing a good enough job that allows the girls to accept themselves wholly and approach the world without restraint. 
And that is life lately. It feels like a lot has happened in the last two months and, at the same time, it feels like barely anything has happened. Either way, time keeps on ticking and soon tomorrow will be here.

By the way, any tips on traveling with kids? How about things to do in Austin?


Christina @ This Woman Cooks! said...

I don't know how you do it. Having two kids seems like the hardest thing in the world to me right now. My daughter is about to turn 4 months old and still sleeps like a newborn waking up every two hours, I can't imagine having another child if he/she doesn't sleep like she does. I'm losing my mind with one! You're amazing!

Lindsey said...

The parks around Barton Springs are great, and definitely, definitely Tacodeli.

There is no shame in formula! I am floored you pumped as much as you did for both girls. Well done, Stephanie.