Sunday, November 14, 2010

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This Week in Mommyhood

I have dubbed this week the week of tantrums. Cati has learned how to throw tantrums when she wants something and I won't give it to her or when she had something and I took it away from her. On a few occasions she has even thrown a mini tantrum when I've told her no. She'll cry (tears and all), reach for the object, and only calm down once I give her what she wants. It's actually really amazing how quickly she can turn the water works on and off.
I've known for about two weeks now that Cati knows "la manito" song and coordinating hand movement, but this week I realized she knows how to clap ("yay" or "palmitas") and how to say hi and bye on demand. Before she'd do it whenever she felt like it (still does) but now she'll actually do it when I want her to do it.
I've upped the amount Cati is eating again this week and it's basically feeding until rejected. The only meal I'm guaranteed she'll eat entirely is breakfast because she wakes up hungry and eats her cereal in less than 10 minutes. Lunch I just serve a lot and hope she eats it all.
Cati did go through a few difficult days this week where she didn't want to drink her bottles but she went back to normal by the end of the week. These days made my time with her a little frustrating because I couldn't explain why she wasn't eating and why she was crying. I don't have the strength to fight against a crying baby. I also don't have the strength to let go and trust that Cati knows her body and its needs better than I do.
This week I have been a little bummed out about how much changes with motherhood and how hard it is for some people to understand that. I still like to go out but everything needs to be planned. I can't just go out when I feel like it anymore. A baby sitter needs to be arranged, bottles prepared, lists made, and on and on. Everything is a production now. I won't go into anymore detail so let's just leave it at sucking when people don't understand or try to understand.
I love Cati. She is everything to me. I wouldn't trade my life with her for anything. I just wish motherhood wasn't so isolating sometimes.

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