You have taught me so much this past month. You have taught me the importance of being flexible and accepting you as an individual. You constantly remind me that you are not your sister and that experiences do not repeat themselves because you are a different person. Being your mother has been an intense experience but you lack the intensity Cati herself had. Instead, you are calmly observant and have such a wonderful peace about you. It is so easy to want to be with you.
You have taught me to lower my expectations and enjoy the small victories of the day. You need and want me, nothing else. You don’t need me to be superwoman. It was hard adjusting to being needed on that most basic level again and it was hard accepting that I couldn’t do it all. In the end I realized four things: (1) you won’t be this small forever so I better enjoy it, (2) life is too long to spend so much time feeling frazzled and stressed, (3) life is too beautiful to miss out on all the heart-swelling moments, (4) and, life is also too short to not spend it enjoying the joy and simplicity of the here-and-now.
This month saw many great developments but the best one thus far was the one that confirmed I was doing all the right things: you intentionally smiled at me. You smile me all the time now and there is so much pleasure from knowing that just my presence makes you happy. I’ve learned how to make you smile and even the ways to make you giggle; sniffing your neck and making funny voices are always good places to start. You smile at your sister and I love knowing this is the beginning of your adoration for one another. Like me, Cati loves your smiles and will go as far as physically trying to make you smile while saying, “Elina sonrie.”
Another great development is that you started sleeping through the night (my definition). Even if I’m not sleeping through the night myself or if I’m staying up late and waking up early, at least I am comforted by the knowledge that once you are down for the evening, you are down until the next day. Part of this has to do with your ability to roll over and sleep on your stomach and the other part has to do with your increased hand-eye coordination and your ability to bring your hand to you mouth for sucking (you also bring just about anything to your mouth). Toward the end of the month I took away the swaddle and you adjusted well and continued to sleep the same. I love to see your little body sprawled out in your crib. The swaddle burrito is still adorable but I love that booty-in-the-air position.
There was a shift in your schedule this month. At the beginning of the month you were taking three naps during the day with one long nap in the afternoon. At the end of the month you were taking for short (60 minutes, max) naps during the day. This shift was followed by a shift of when you get your bottles and now you eat around the following times: 8:30am, 11:30am, 2:00pm, 4:30pm, and 7:00pm. You’ve also increased how much you are eating and you get 5oz bottles at all five feedings.
This past month with you has been so delightful. You are growing and developing beautifully. You are finding your voice and playing around with different sounds. You are excellent at tummy time and hold your head up high. You are beginning to do crunches so I know sitting is just around the corner. You like to stand on your feet when we hold you so I know crawling and walking are around another corner. You are spending more time being quietly actively alert. Each day comes with new developments. I am so happy I can have the pleasure of being your mother, of seeing you grow into who you are meant to be, of seeing you become our daughter, and of seeing you become a sister. You are my sweet, sweet little baby and I live for your gummy smiles and husky giggles. Thank you for choosing me to be your mother and guide through this crazy, unpredictable world.
Love,
Mami
More on Elina: Birth Story, One Month, Two Months, Three Months
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