Thursday, January 20, 2011

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Definitely Not a Call Girl

I recently got hooked on Showtime's Secret Diary of a Call Girl. So hooked, in fact, that I went on to read the book (based on the blog) that was the basis for the show, Belle de Jour: Diary of an Unlikely Call Girl (US version). The book was ok. A little more risqué than the show and I can see why the book created such a stir when it was first published, but if I would have read the book before finding out about the show I don't think I would have seen the show because I found the real Belle slightly obnoxious and arrogant. After I read the book I did some research and found out Belle had revealed her identity to preempt anyone else from doing so. This got me thinking about anonymity, how well you can protect the identities of others, and how much of someone else's story you can (or should) disclose.

My blog was started three years ago (happy late birthday blog!) and when I first started it I thought it would be a place to record all our eating adventures. Then I got into baking and really came into my own in the kitchen. Then I got pregnant and the blog became a more personal space for me. I debated putting up any pictures of Cati and updates on her growth because there's never a shortage of people with ill intentions and I didn't want someone else taking her pictures and passing her off as their own. I still debate with myself over how much of her I share on the blog (weekly letters, monthly letters, millions of pictures, and videos) but at the end of the day I realize that I do all that more for myself than anyone else because I do not want to forget all the things I found so special. There is so much I have already forgotten and Cati is only eleven months old. Being able to come to the blog and click on the "baby" category helps ease the pain of fading memories. One day this will change, I'm sure. The older Cati gets the more she'll understand her presence on the blog and when she asks me to stop sharing so much of her life I will comply. The blog will just go under another transformation and it will turn into something that's different and yet the same.

But what about others? Cati's little life is out there and my motherhood life is out there but I try to keep others off the blog. Every now and then I slip up and I feel horrible and guilty and I swear to be more strict with the content. I try to be conscious about what I post and who I mention because I know people don't feel comfortable with having any kind of internet presence. Thus, why I don't talk about Alex much in detail even though he plays a huge role in my life and I could probably dedicate a whole blog to him and all the ways he makes me smile (or drives me crazy).

So how do you draw the line? What's personal and what's too-personal? How much of the "real you" should come into the persona you create on the blog? Was the Belle behind the book and blog an exaggeration because it was a pseudonym? Did N and the three As agree to be written about? Did they agree with what she had to say about them? How did they feel once her identity was revealed? Have we entered a new era of "too much information'?
Stephanie

1 comment:

vickdn said...

Ha, I am always commenting on your blog, I am a loyal follower and love watching Cati grow up! Sometimes I wonder if I seem like a stalker, but trust me I'm not! I am just a 20-something year old girl who wants a baby one day, so I love to live through you and learn from you for now! I hope I don't come across as one of those people you are talking about :) But I do enjoy everything that you share... Cati's monthly letters, her outfits, her eating habits etc. I don't think it is too much, it really does help me learn things I never knew about raising a baby, as well as just brighten my day to see that adorable baby! So please keep posting, and sharing!