This Week in Mommyhood

This was a particularly tough week. Not only has Cati had a few bad nights where she's waking up every 2 hours but I also got a second bout of mastitis. The mastitis is gone but I felt horrible for a day. I had a fever of close to 103, my boob was extremely tender and sore, and pumping was a complete bust. I threw up and spent a good chunk of time crying. I felt physically horrible and emotionally drained, but what really got to me was the feeling of not having enough energy to care for Cati properly. I handed her off to Alex as soon as he got home. I take a lot of precautions when I pump, but even so, I got mastitis. As it is, pumping is hard and something like this is so disheartening and frustrating. I'm trying to do what I feel is best for Cati by giving her breast milk and I keep getting clogged ducts and mastitis thrown at me. Shouldn't there be brownie points for this? Maybe even some kind of magic protection that says "breast milk present, do not clog or infect"?Now let me go back a minute to sleeping. I know that if by Cati's bedtime she has only eaten a certain amount, I'm in for a long night. But yesterday she ate a lot during the day so I was hopeful that last night would be a milestone in sleeping. Oh boy, was I wrong. She still woke up a lot. I know she will sleep more when she is ready and I have no choice but to wait until that happens, but all I can think about is whether this is a sign she is getting ready to start solids. Is breast milk not enough to keep her full?
Ok, enough venting and on to some good news. This week Cati actually acknowledged Perla! She even reached out for her and pulled her hair (not hard, I promise!). Normally they live in complete ignorance of one another except when Perla's barks startle Cati and Cati's cries startle Perla, so it's cool to see Cati starting to take an interest in Perla. I think they will be the best of buddies in the future. Cati also laughed! Or what I think is a laugh. I was playing with her and she smiled really big (I adore that gummy smile) and made a "hah" sound. I nearly fell over. I can't believe how much my little girl is really starting to interact with us.
I honestly can't remember what else happened this week because of the sleep deprivation and mastitis. One thing that keeps me going is the fact that each day is different. Cati keeps me permanently in the present so while one day may completely suck, the next day is a new day and there is renewed hope for a better day.