Twenty Ten

I have been searching my brain the past few days for the moments that will forever define 2010 for me. I thought I would have a long list of varied memories but I don't. All my memories involve Cati one way or another. The birth of Cati is the singular event that has defined 2010. Every other memory is rooted in that event and without that event those memories would simply be wishes for the future.

2010 started off with me pregnant with Catarina and it is ending with having been a mother for 10.5 months. In between I have cried, laughed, prayed, and been thankful for the blessings given to me and our little family. I have seen my daughter go from this entity that moved around inside me to this little stranger of a person that is completely separate from me. In the past 10.5 months Cati has gone from a helpless blob of an infant to an active baby. She walks, talks, laughs, gets angry, throws tantrums, drinks bottles, eats food, and does tricks (clapping! waving! oh my!). The simplicity in which she lives and enjoys life is inspiring. She doesn't need much other than a loving person to take care of her basic needs and a bunny or remote control for entertainment. It's truly amazing how a little love goes a long way with a developing human being. So in 2010 Cati grew to the point of interacting, walking, and having one tooth.

2010 was the year I got my first writing gig. Writing for Examiner has been great and I hope it will not only help me improve my writing style but also help me move up in the world of writing. Motherhood has also inspired my writing here on the blog as the blog came to be a place where I not only shared recipes but also my motherhood journey. These were the ten most popular posts this past year:

1. TWD Devil's Food White Out Cake (My pick!)
2. Twix Cookies
3. Chocolate Whiskey Cupcakes
4. Mollie's Project Empowering Motherhood answers
5. Confessions of a New Mom
6. A Little Baby Talk
7. Chocolate Strawberry Bliss Cupcakes
8. Andes Mint Cookies
9. Costume Frenzy
10. Goat Cheese & Apple Chicken

What impresses me the most about the above list is how varied the topics are and how it includes a little bit of everything. One of the posts is even from 2008!

2010 was the year of heartbreak as things became extremely rocky with my mother. I haven't spoken to her since February 27th. I'm sad but not regretful. More than anything I'm just disappointed with my mother and the reactions to certain events that lead us to this point.

2010 was the year of renewed friendships. Maybe not so much renewed, but reviewed. I got to see certain friends in a new light and reconnect with them on a whole new level. I started seeing friends differently because I was different. Certain friends I thought I had nothing in common with are the ones I had the most in common with so it's been a surprising and delightful journey.

2010 was a rocky year for so many. This year I was thankful Alex was a resident because his hospital went through a nightmare-ish money ordeal where so many lost their jobs and internal structures had to be reorganized. Then my father-in-law got laid off and that shook us hard. He was the beacon of stability for everyone and with him being affected by the economy I really understood and felt that no one was safe. Sure, the belts were tightened but it always seemed like the economy affected others and that we were somehow safe and immune. It was eye opening but also reassuring because despite all the individual loss we were all experiencing a universal loss; everyone was affected by the economy, not just a select few, but everyone. The loss was harder for some but we all experienced loss that connected us to one another.

I said earlier this week that I lost 2010 somewhere in between being pregnant, having a baby, raising a baby, and falling in love a million times over. I can only hope to lose myself like that in 2011 as I undertake new adventures, new beginnings, and the chance to fall in love each and every day.