Can't. Stop. Staring.

I spend a lot of time staring at Cati. I try to memorize every single feature, every noise, everything. When I look at her I am instantly filled with love and wonderment. My thoughts range from the specifics of her (this baby really is mine, huh?) to the generals of babies (how can anyone hurt such innocence?). It amazes me to think of how much power this little being, my little stranger, has over me. I love her so much it hurts. I love her so much my heart constantly breaks. It breaks with the knowledge that my heart is forever hers without her even trying. My heart breaks with the knowledge that there is only so much I can do to protect her. In her fragile hands lies my even more fragile heart. Motherhood is a blessing but it is also a curse. I never knew love could hurt this bad.