Sunday, August 29, 2010

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This Week in Mommyhood

Mommyhood is a pendulum that swings back and forth between good times and bad times. My pendulum was on the good times side for a while and it finally swung back over to the bad times side. It's not that anything particularly bad happened this past week it's that I wasn't having the best of times with Cati. I sometimes forget that she's her own, independent person with a will of her own. She's not going to do everything I want when I want and that causes frustration for me. This past week she hasn't been drinking as much milk, she's been fighting the bottle and her naps, and she's just been crankier than normal. I want to enjoy my time with her but that's hard to do when she's crying and I don't know what else to do to entertain her.
It also didn't help that Alex started a new rotation and this particular rotation is extremely busy. I miss Alex, but more than anything I miss the extra set of hands. I hate feeling that way because I don't get to enjoy whatever time I get with Alex either. I enjoy having him around because it means I get a little break, not because I get to reconnect with the husband I barely see. I used to feel like a girl waiting for her crush to call: sitting with the phone within centimeters, checking to make sure it works. I couldn't wait for Alex to get home so we could hang out and enjoy one another. This past week? I waited desperately for the phone to ring so that I'd know how long it would take before I could take the hottest shower possible so as to get rid of the pain and ache from the day. It amazes me how a little person can cause that much change.  Never has this quote by Mignon McLaughlin meant more: "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." I look forward to the return of my girl crush-ness and to having energy to fall in love all over again.
On to happier news...Cati is doing amazing with veggies! She had carrots, avocado, and squash this week. I think she liked carrots the best but she is taking the squash like a champ. She's only getting a Tbsp of veggies for lunch but it has been enough to make her want to bypass her normal midday bottle. She used to drink 4-5 oz bottles at 9:30am, 12:30pm, and 3:30pm, now she drinks a 4-5 oz bottle at 9:30am and a 7-8oz bottle at 3pm. I try to give her a bottle before and after the veggies but she's just not interested. This past week her milk intake has varied and I'm worried about her getting enough milk. This is where the "she's an individual" part comes in because I need to realize and understand that I can't force her to eat if she isn't hungry or interested. She will let me know when she's hungry and how much she wants to eat. I knew the introduction of solids would change things, I just didn't know they would change things so quickly.
Cati still gets up and rocks on all fours, but this past week she learned how to army crawl. She looks so cute when she crawls and I love the look of determination on her face. She'll only crawl if there's something she really wants, otherwise she is ok with being stationary. Cati also learned how to go from a sitting position to a crawling position. I need to be very careful when she does this because sometimes her head falls faster than her body. (Note: I totally didn't mean for my phone to hit the wall the way it did)
We took Cati to the beach again this week and it's amazing how much she likes the water. The moment I put her in the water she smiled her big gummy smile and started kicking her legs around.
Lastly, apparently I'm in trouble because Cati finds my yelling hilarious. That, or she finds it funny when someone other than her is in trouble. Perla is on a steroid and it causes her to eat and drink more so she has to used the bathroom about every 2 minutes. Which means Perla's been having more accidents in the house. Well, one day I came home and Perla peed on her bed right in front on me. I was very upset and called Perla a "bad dog" repeatedly and Cati thought it was the funniest thing ever. My anger quickly subsided because I couldn't believe Cati was entertained by my anger; I thought she would have been startled by my yelling not amused. Hopefully she finds my yelling less funny as she gets older.
I love Cati with all my heart. I just wish I could have a break more often. I love my time with her but it's hard for me to really appreciate when I don't get the opportunity to step away and actually miss her. 

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